There is nothing wrong with vanity… until there is.

I think it’s fair to say that in our culture, most of us care, on some level, about how we look. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Beauty, style, expression… it’s all part of being human. Wanting to feel attractive or confident in your body isn’t shallow, it’s natural. It’s also incredibly personal.

But somewhere along the way, our simple desires can get distorted. They became tangled up with pressure.

• Pressure to be smaller, tighter, younger.

• Pressure to chase approval, to earn worth, to meet an invisible standard that’s always just out of reach.

And that’s where vanity stops being fun, where it stops being ‘ok’ and starts becoming a quiet and harmful weight to carry.

When I look back, there was a long stretch of my life when I lost my real self and latched onto the need to keep up and please. If I could just look the part ~ put together, thin enough, glowing, composed ~ maybe I’d feel as good inside as people assumed I was.

It didn’t work.

Because the more I tried to fix the outside, the more I lost touch with the part of me that actually needed care.

And that’s when I learned:

• Vanity is not the problem.

• Vanity without honesty is.

I still like to feel good in my clothes. I still do skincare. I still notice the mirror. But I no longer let those things define me. They’re accents, not my solid self ~ if that makes sense.

And in the work I do with women, I make it safe to say:
‘I want to feel beautiful.’
‘I want to make my body a different shape.’

And it’s even more important to ask why.

Let’s get so clear about what we’re chasing, so that if we do make changes, they come from truth, not shame. And then, the changes are sustainable.

Because there’s nothing wrong with vanity...
Until it’s running the show.